The Porcelain Doll
I can recall a time where I felt very distant from God. I prayed, “Lord… why can’t I feel you…?” And as always, God didn’t answer right away so I felt like He was ignoring me or maybe He had left me alone.
Now I was sure the Lord promised never to leave or forsake me (Hebrews 13:5), but during this time I was sure He had because I could not feel Him at all! Anyone ever experienced this? Prayers become shorter because you don’t know what to pray! Days are longer and nights are colder! Emotions on an all time negative high! And nothing seems to be going right?
I prayed and prayed for an answer! I remember thinking, “Lord I was doing sooooo well! You and I were talking everyday, we were the best of friends! I was reading my bible and praying about every decision! I mean you were all I needed God! Where are you? Why can’t I feel you???”
A few weeks went by and the Lord answered me! (As he always does when I’m in the middle of doing something random! – LOL) I was having a conversation with a girl friend where we were discussing “not being a man’s trophy girl or porcelain doll”! Now let me explain for those of you who may be a little lost. When a woman is referred to or considered a “trophy girl” or a “porcelain doll” it means that she is indeed valuable, but at times too valuable for frequent play! She’s probably the most beautiful of all dolls, but being that she is made of porcelain she is very fragile and not intended for every day play. Most oft, these types of dolls are kept on a shelf or secured in their original packaging. And not to mention these babies can be very expensive!
So I’m sure you’re wondering what is the darn point of buying a doll for a few hundred dollars when you can barely even play with it? Well, I’ll tell you! I had a two when I was a little girl and the point was…. to show them off! (LOL) Literally! My pretty little porcelain dolls came with support stands and they were on display on my dresser in my bedroom! Whenever my friends would come over we would play with Barbie (which was my absolute favorite growing up – and still to this day I will play with any little girl who asks me to! – LOL) Anyways, Barbie was the less expensive plastic doll who could be dropped, thrown, stepped on, and even have her head removed and switched with another and still be okay! HA! But the porcelain dolls, oh no honey, you DID NOT touch my babies! They were off limits!
Point of the matter is when a woman is referred to as a porcelain doll she is like a trophy, simply there to be admired when it’s convenient, but not worthy of full time play! Though she is worth lots of money, she is not valuable enough to be given full attention, time, and affection… She is only suitable for showing off! Literally! Got a nice function to go to? Take your “trophy girl”! Need a date for the family reunion, take the “porcelain doll” girl! -__- Yes that’s where the term comes from!
So as I had that conversation with my friend, God answered me by saying, “Well, am I not worthy enough to not be a “porcelain doll” either?” WOW NOW! He snatched my head back because I was NOT ready for that! I was like wait a minute Lord! 😂 But seriously, in that very moment God reminded me that He too is valuable, but not only for convenience!
Ask yourself, am I only using or considering God for my convenience or to show off?
Oh you got a new job! “Thank you Jesus!” When you never even prayed for or about that job!
“Lord I need help!” then once He helps you you curve God and act like you got there by yourself! He was convenient for the moment!
“God is good!” but only when He blesses you BIG, not for the small things along the way!
I could go on and on but I’m sure you catch my drift. God reminded me that I cannot treat Him as a “trophy”, something I can show off for the BIG WIN, but could care less about when Barbie is in town. I couldn’t feel Him during that perioid of time because He was catching dust somewhere up on the shelf that I put Him on! I wanted to live for God, but my old ways had me teeter tottering and playing on the fence! I loved God, but if there was something I’d rather do my way I’d put Him on that shelf so quick! I had to learn that I cannot serve two masters! (Matthew 6:24) And to my surprise while doing my own worldly things I had put God up there and couldn’t figure out how to get Him down when it was convenient for me.
He placed on my heart that He is not simply some pretty little doll baby that you can show off to other people like you’ve soooo covered by the blood, but that you refuse to truly surrender your life to! He is not simply a show and tell item, but more like the creator of the heaven and earth!
Sure He deserves to be shown off and shared with others, but He would much rather you truly live for Him and not just treat Him as a piece of porcelain.
Just food for thought… God is NOT your PORCELAIN DOLL!
By: Verinique D. Bailey, “The V. in Virtue”