The Death of Comparisons
Today I was at work looking for my friend named Comparisons. I could not find her anywhere! I even asked everyone in the bank if they had seen her. Where in the world did Comparisons go? I looked all in the desk, under my chair, behind the computer, shoot I even looked in the hall storage closet for her? Someone had obviously come and stole Comparisons! I knew I had to call the law and report such a crime as this! Ugh! How in the world could someone do such an awful thing? But who could it be? Who could have come like a thief in the night and snatched up poor little Comparisons and all her vain glory? Shoot they ‘bout took my edges too! (Just kidding! My hair is still intact! LOL) But seriously, who could’ve stole Comparisons?
Just as I was ready to dial 911, my phone rang loudly as a new alert appeared. This alert was one that I hoped to never get… my dear old friend Comparisons had been pronounced dead and her funeral was to be held tonight at 8:00. My heart dropped! How could someone take her away from me! Comparisons always held me back, kept me down, and went everywhere with me! Who would I have to take to the mall with me and point out other girls flaws? Who would scroll down my Facebook timeline and make me feel insecure because my life was not in line? Who would lay in bed with me as I stared aimlessly at the ceiling wishing my life were like her, her, or hers? Who would come with me to a family reunion and make me jealous because my cousin had a new whip or an engagement ring? Who would tell me who to resemble, who to model my life like, and to parallel myself to? My poor old friend, Comparisons, was gone forever! I sobbed in misery at her memory… I knew I had to get my most fabulous black for the funeral! Today I would bury my dear friend Comparisons!
This was the Death of Comparisons…
…and all of her friends Queen Envy, Jelous Jewl, Hateration, all of them!
The word compare, as defined by google, means to estimate, measure, or note the similarity or dissimilarity between. In other words, when a person compares they particularly measure the lack of something in one object to the abundance of that same something in another object. They weigh the two objects and relate their similarities and differences mainly to show the favor of another.
Okay let’s get to the nitty gritty! Women compare ourselves to each other ALL the time! Don’t act like you don’t! (Even though you wouldn’t be caught dead saying it aloud, you know in your mind you wild out!) Stop fronting! We’ve all done it! Your teeth are crooked so your looking at Lil Shelia since she has perfect “braces-corrected” teeth! Your stomach is big so you’re hating on the Victoria Secret models because they’re half naked and their bodies are toned for the heavens! Stacia got a promotion and you won’t congratulate her because you wish it were you! Monica has nice weave so you’re rolling your eyes because your natural roots are peeping out of yours? Ciara got a new car so you’re mad because your putt putt will barely start! Shanika is on engagement number three, but you haven’t gotten any rings yet so you’re envious! Taylor made the line, but you didn’t even get passed the interview so you’re mad and won’t go to her show! Or Alexandria has two internship offers and you have none so you don’t even like her post! I think y’all get the point! At one time or another you’ve found yourself hating, being jealous, or comparing yourself to another woman!
“What does she have that I don’t?”
“What does he see in her anyways!”
“I’m working harder than her I deserve the promotion!”
“I’m cuter than her I should’ve won!”
“I bet she didn’t pay for that car by herself!”
QUEEN OF ENVY!
See the truth about haters is… Well I’m not going to get into that because I’ll write a book about it someday! (LOL)
Seriously though, the problem with our generation (and there’s nothing new under the sun so honey this dates back to Cain and Abel!) is that we are sooooo focused and overly concerned with what other people do or have going on that we can’t truly focus on the betterment of ourselves! I’ve barely touched on this topic in a couple of other blog posts, (Welcome to wherever you are and whatever the other one was) but it’s time we put this thing to rest!
Someone did us a favor by killing Comparisons.
You see, comparing yourself and your journey to others can do one of two things, motivate you to do better or make you jealous. Let’s not play games, more than likely it’ll make you jealous! I’ve found that when I didn’t have anything going on for myself or I wasn’t truly invested in my own success I opened the door for discontentment. With discontentment in my own life came the start of comparing myself to others and thus hating on them for their accomplishments and success.
But Comparisons was my girl, as I told y’all earlier! WE DID EVERYTHING TOGETHER! She loved me and I loved her! But again she kept me down, held me back, and went everywhere with me… But that was the problem, SHE WAS EVERYWHERE WITH ME! And if you know her like I knew her she’s everywhere with you! Creeping in your every thought. Making you feel insecure and not good enough. Telling you not to congratulate others or to be happy for them. Filling your heart with negativity and envy! Pacing back in forth in your mind making you more and more discontent with yourself..
Well I’ve got news for you, Comparisons died today and we are burying her six feet under!
She can no longer rule over your mind or make a hater out of you! She can no longer lead your life and cause you to be unhappy. She can no longer make you measure what you have in relation to what someone else has! She can no longer scare you from yourself and your potential by filling your head with inadequacies. She can no longer leave you in a room full of women and make you feel uncomfortable and unpretty. She can no longer give you a reason to cry silently and to hate your life…
It’s been a long time since I’ve seen her and honey I can tell you since then my life has been better! I know how to congratulate! I know how to appreciate! I know how to handle my business ’cause honey worring about her, her, and hers was getting me no where and I’m sure you’ve gotten no where either!
Today we will lay Comparisons to rest! She isn’t your best friend or your home girl and she meant you no well. We must close her casket shut, lower her down, and shovel dirt on her.
By: Verinique D. Bailey, “The V. in Virtue”