One day after a break up, I was feeling down on life! I was single, lonely, and I felt like my life completely shut down. My friends were happily preoccupied and enjoying their lives while I was busy living in what seemed like a bubble of depression.
I could not seem to pick myself up out of the lows. And if any of you have ever experienced depression in the least bit, you know that it becomes difficult to complete the daily tasks of life…
It was hard for me to function. Couldn’t do my school work. Didn’t want to eat. No phone calls. No sunshine. Heck, I didn’t even want to get out of bed.
I prayed… I cried… and prayed some more. I literally felt like my life was over and like I would never get it together again…
I’d given so much of myself to the relationship that I’d lost myself…
I didn’t know how to satisfy myself. I couldn’t be happy alone. I was constantly bored. Always negative and just plain old miserable.
I prayed and I cried and I prayed…
And then, God answered my prayers!
I remember shopping Wal-Mart, after finally deciding that I needed to eat. I walked through the bakery and then there they were, THE FLOWERS!!! To know me is know I LOVE fresh flowers! Any type and color!
They were soooooo beautiful! The perfect pastels and bouquets! All at once, a sense of joy came over me. And finally, I SMILED… That was the first time I smiled in what seemed like months! And I liked it!
I knew then that I had to have some! After picking out the best bunch, I checked the price and surprisingly enough, the flowers were only $5!!! FIVE FREAKING DOLLARS!!! I say that with emphasis because do you know how many women wait for men to buy them flowers? I mean they NEVER get flowers unless a guy buys them and will literally wait until he does… In this case, that woman was me! As much as I loved flowers I remember waiting on my ex to buy them for me and even becoming sad when I didn’t get any.
I hadn’t realized that life had become that way for me too. Like flowers, I was also dependent on someone else to fulfil my happiness… No wonder I was so depressed and miserable.
Buying myself flowers was subliminally the start to learning to please myself. I learned in that one instance that I did not need to be pleased by others, nor should I depend on them for my happiness. Happiness and satisfaction begins with “Self”. Buying myself flowers was like taking back my happiness, my self-security, and my sense of independence.
I am thankful that God opened my teary eyes to the sight of such beautiful flowers and to the start of my happiness! I hope that those of you who read this and are suffering with misery, sadness, or depression consider buying yourself some flowers! Take back your life for you! Your happiness, your success, and your peace lies within you! Trust God for those things and he will guide you to a place of perfect peace.
I truly will never forget “The Day I Bought Myself Some Flowers”
By: Verinique D. Bailey “The V. In Virtue”
**The picture above is a recent picture of me buying myself some flowers! It has become a habit J*